Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE!

[bill440cars]

Well my Wife is the Exec of her Mothers will, which pissed off her useless Brother, who was removed from the position. He  been more civil to us since then. I know that her Brother and Sister are sitting on a branch waiting to divy up the profits of the House. Well I made his day when I explained that if the old girl winds up n a Nursing home, our Medicare system will strip all her assets which includes the home. I wanted to make his day, so I told him that on Tuesday. I can imagine the fist fight when the day comes.
 

          Yeah, I already knew that too (about if they go into a nursing home) I think it was in October that my brother had my Dad given some kind of 30 question test to try to get him into a nursing home. You see, my brother says that my Dad acted like he was going to take a swing at my brother's wife and then at my brother later. I didn't tell my brother about what would happen to my Dad's assets if that happened because my brother is living in a house that my Mom & Dad bought for him and he was supposed to make payments (the house my brother lives in is in my Dad's name! and my brother will be booted!)

           But, the thing is, my Dad made 25 on that test! If folks just had some RESPECT for their family members, things sure would be a lot better!  

                                 Later on, Bill

[bill440cars]

No worries man. I was using my experience as an example of two different extremes when it came to the way the families delt with the loss. On one hand Vince understood that i was the one that was closest to our father in the end so he didnt have a problem with the way things were split. on the other hand when Kim died it took a lot of time trying to make her exes understand that her old bike was not for sale and never would be. Last i heard both my old CBR 900 and her CBR 600 are actually both parked in the familys living room at their current residence. Her father took the time to properly drain the fluids and everything from both machines. But they wanted to see both machines together for as long as possable. Given that kims bike was redone as a mini replica of my 900 before i gave it to her. I used a lot of the 900s spare parts to achieve such a look i can fully understand why. Her pickup is another example of one vehicle that will never be fired again nor will it be sold. Her family has held onto these items to remember her by as well as remember the life she had with me by having my 900....Ok i got off onto a tangent there..sorry man. Thinking back on this reminded me how much of a fight that her family and i had trying to keep certian things in the family.

            Chris, She sure must have been quite a girl all right! And her parents seem like they were pretty taken with you also! And don't you EVEN worry about going off on a "Tangent" either. You take care there my friend!

                                Later on, Bill

[bill440cars]

       

        Well, supposed to got down today because my Dad's ready to put things back like they were. He's totally put out by the way my brother and his wife are treating him. He's ready for a change. Says he knows that I will carry out his wishes and my brother most likely WON"T, depending on what it's about. I'm really praying about this cause my brother's not working today and , even though I've called Dad, at least twice to make sure  nothing had come up, he had forgotten that I was coming and was going to go with my brother to Little Rock today. He said that he's call my bother and tell him that he'd just remembered that I was coming to visit him today. So, if my brother gets suspicious, he's liable to hang around to see what's going on. You see Dad's going to the bank to put me back in as his backup on everything and then I'm talking to him about making sure who's the executor and all that. I just pray that things go well and he can set things the way he wants them to. Well, gotta get out of here and get on my way.

                                   Later on, Bill

[jsaab2748]

Hey Bill, been following this thread for a while. Just wishing you the best of luck.
My dad's side of his immediate family are split in half over a similar situation as yours.
The "signs" are all very similar. Hope things turn out for you.

[bill440cars]

Hey Bill, been following this thread for a while. Just wishing you the best of luck.
My dad's side of his immediate family are split in half over a similar situation as yours.
The "signs" are all very similar. Hope things turn out for you.

        Thanks jsaab,  I just got back from my Dad's and everything on the financial end has been changed to have my Dad & my names ONLY! So, in the event that my Dad can't take care of his financial affairs, I'm the one who will be doing that. He and I are going to set up another day in a couple of weeks, to take care of getting whatever changes to his will, finalized and legal. All in all, we had a good visit, I took him to Denny's for lunch (He likes to eat there too!  We both had the "Grand Slam" breakfast meal, except, I had 2 extra eggs.), then on the way back, we stopped by the bank, took care of removing my brother's wife's name from every single thing and then I took him home cause I had to get home myself. He said he really enjoyed the day and I gave him a hug before I left for home.

                                     Later on, Bill        

[UnCrash]

You're a good man Bill.

This kind of thing tore up my family as well.

Best of luck.

[bill440cars]

You're a good man Bill.

This kind of thing tore up my family as well.

Best of luck.

          Thanks for the kind words, it feels good to have my Dad seeming to enjoy himself more and feeling like he's got some worth, you know?

           As I've been posting this, I knew in the beginning that I wasn't the only one with a situation like this. I just didn't realize how many here had had (or are having) similar (some maybe not as bad and yet, some worse I'm sure) situations. When he tells me over and over about how much he appreciates something I'm doing or have done, THAT means a lot to me cause I KNOW it means a lot to him. It has been brought to my attention that putting things in a TRUST might be a better way but, I don't know anything about a trust or the differences. I HAVE learned from online that there are 2 kinds of trusts and that one can be challenged while the other can't. Only thing is, the one that can't be challenged put's the property in the 2nd person's actually control and I don't think he's go for that even though I'd never even think of trying to take over his stuff while he's still capable. A will has to go through Probate while a trust doesn't. My next step will be to try to get him to an attorney that he trusts and get his Doctor thing settled. You see, his Doctor has said that he can't drive! All this came about when my brother and his wife took him to his doctor to keep an appointment. Dad says that my brother's wife was out of the van before they even got parked, went in and met with the Doctor by herself. When Dad and my brother went in to see the doctor, she was already there. The Doctor didn't really discuss anything with my Dad and never saw my Dad by himself. All he basically did was to get onto my Dad and tell him that he could not drive. Now, in this day and time, they have what they called the "Privacy Act". Unless my brother and his wife have, without Dad realizing it, gotten him to sign something giving them the authority to have control over him they can't discuss things with others present unless the individual gives permission. I know this much because of my job. Any input on any part of this would be welcomed and appreciated. I do figure that the time's gonna come (and maybe not too far off) when I'll probably have to just go down and stay for a bit, to take care of him and make sure that my brother and his wife don't screw him over. I AM going to check into someone who does "Home Services" and see if I can get him to agree to something like that. You know, someone to come in daily, make sure that he's taken care of (taking his medicine, help him with what ever he needs and such as that). I don't envy anyone who has  had to go though this stuff or those who will have to. It's just a pure shame that family members can't pull together and take care of their own (when it's possible, I know that sometimes a person has to be put into a nursing home or something similar and doesn't have a choice). Thanks for listening, even THAT helps (along with being able to talk about it).

                                    Later on, Bill      

[GoatBaSS]

In home care is expensive. We are looking at that with three of the family elders right now. That is why one is in the nursing home. Stubborn vs wound care, vs the comfort of a third party that will not put up with the garbage that family members feel they have to take out of respect. She kept firing all the in home care workers for whatever reason. A real tough situation...

[bill440cars]

          Well, I (and my Dad) definitely don't want my brother and/or his wife doing it. That's basically what he's got now and "IT AIN'T WORKING!" Thing is, if and when they find out that they aren't in charge of anything anymore, they are not gonna be happy campers!
    Since yesterday (16th of January), I am the only one (besides my Dad) who can do anything with his bank account and his CDs. Of course, I'm not about to even begin to THINK about doing anything, much less DO anything with HIS money. Dad was even going to go one step farther and try to buy the lot next to his that was For Sale and add it to his lot  (which would have become mine, when the time came). I couldn't believe that! Ah but, it sold because they didn't accept his offer and someone else made a better offer. There was a modular home on it too!

     Just a note: Dad seems more and more relaxed each time I'm able to go down there. I mean, he even sounds better each time I call. But, it's not over yet. It'll be mostly set, when we get to a lawyer and get his WILL finally and totally legalized and get a firm assessment of his health, so we can know what we're in for. 

                              Later on, Bill
                                           

[Rocking-M]

Sounds like your working it out Bill. Way to go! Also, sounds like your Dad is more at
peace with the new situation and that's what matters most.

[DarkRider]

Sounds like your working it out Bill. Way to go! Also, sounds like your Dad is more at
peace with the new situation and that's what matters most.

+ 1

[bill440cars]

        Yeah, I am very happy with the way things are turning out for my Dad. Now, if I can just get the rest of things to fall in place without any (or too much) problem(s) from my brother and his wife. I want him to be content that he has things lined out the way he wants, I want him to have HIS possessions back (mainly his truck and his minivan) and I want him to have "Peace Of Mind!" I want him to be assured that when his time comes, things will be taken care of the way  HE wants them to be (and, IF I'm in charge of the Will and all, It will be done as Dad wishes. My brother, on the other hand, is questionable and Dad knows that)

        I want to thank all for your concern, for your replies about your own situations, the support I have received and lastly (though not the least) your just letting me talk about all this. I never thought that I would have ever put something like this on a forum. But, then THIS isn't just ANY forum, is it? No, this is THE forum. Once I got started, I just seemed to let it go and the fact that you all allowed me to do that, sure helped me to get to the point that I knew what I needed to do For My Dad! My hat's off to you all!

                              Later on, Bill    

[DarkRider]

This forum is great to its members and backing them up when they are having problems no matter if its bike related or personal..

[BobbyR]

This forum is great to its members and backing them up when they are having problems no matter if its bike related or personal..

This forum is about more than tires, oil and carbs. it is a community.

[bill440cars]

This forum is great to its members and backing them up when they are having problems no matter if its bike related or personal..

This forum is about more than tires, oil and carbs. it is a community.

            You guys are SO right about that! That is exactly how I feel and why this place is the BEST one going! If we can't help each other, what good are we? I, for one, have nothing but great things to say about the fellowship here!

           
                                      Later on, Bill

[Terry in Australia]

This forum is about more than tires, oil and carbs. it is a community.

Man, imagine that, all of us living next door to each other, drinking, talking about our bikes and politics, religion, guns, one helmet versus the other, which is the best model, riding our bikes together, "community rebuilds", geez, it'd be like Honda Heaven! 

[DarkRider]

yea that would be nice now wouldnt it be terry..

[bill440cars]

This forum is about more than tires, oil and carbs. it is a community.

Man, imagine that, all of us living next door to each other, drinking, talking about our bikes and politics, religion, guns, one helmet versus the other, which is the best model, riding our bikes together, "community rebuilds", geez, it'd be like Honda Heaven! 

          Okay,......Wait just a minute,  I'm still trying to visualize living next door to Terry!    This could take QUITE SOME TIME! Living next door to TERRY, Terry of Australia! ............ Just kidding with ya Terry, what can I say, I just saw the opportunity to mess with ya and couldn't resist.   Uh, is this gonna affect the possibility of your someday leaving a bike over at my place for you to ride, when you come to the U.S.?



                                  Later on, Bill  

[droopy]

This forum is about more than tires, oil and carbs. it is a community.

Man, imagine that, all of us living next door to each other, drinking, talking about our bikes and politics, religion, guns, one helmet versus the other, which is the best model, riding our bikes together, "community rebuilds", geez, it'd be like Honda Heaven! 

          Okay,......Wait just a minute,  I'm still trying to visualize living next door to Terry!    This could take QUITE SOME TIME! Living next door to TERRY, Terry of Australia! ............ Just kidding with ya Terry, what can I say, I just saw the opportunity to mess with ya and couldn't resist.   Uh, is this gonna affect the possibility of your someday leaving a bike over at my place for you to ride, when you come to the U.S.?



                                  Later on, Bill  

well bill that shouldn't be a problem for Terry (you do have sheep don't you  ) )

[Terry in Australia]

What's this? "Pick on the Aussie Day"? Man, I feel so depressed................. 

[bill440cars]

  Later on, Bill  

well bill that shouldn't be a problem for Terry (you do have sheep don't you  ) )
[/quote]

         Nope. Sorry, no sheep!     Later on, Bill



 

What's this? "Pick on the Aussie Day"? Man, I feel so depressed................. 

           Now Terry, No One would pick on YOU any more than You'd pick on them! Maybe I need to rethink that.   You could look at it this way. If someone is picking on YOU, someone else is getting a BREAK! In THAT respect, YOU could be looked at as a "Good Samaritan!" Could YOU handle that? Ever wonder just how much weird reasoning come come out of a simple sentence?

                               Later on, Bill

[bill440cars]

           Okay, I got the (can't think of a nice way to say it but, I got it) scared out of me anyway!   Haven't been able to get down to see my Dad lately and I try to call every 2 or 3 days, til I can get down. Well, I called today and got a busy signal. No problem, I'll just wait a bit and call again, right? Busy again! I tried for at least a half hour, to call him with no results. So, I tried his cell phone. Someone answered and, when I asked for my Dad, they hung up!  Now I'm getting both concerned and upset. I tried calling his cell phone several times and at first I got a busy signal and after a while I got ringing with no answer. I was away from my house and called my wife who suggested calling the local Sheriff and asking them to check on him. So, I continued to try to raise my Dad, while my wife tried to call the local Sheriff's office down there. Next thing I know, my Dad called me on his cell phone. and we talk briefly. I then call my wife to get her off the idea of calling the Sheriff's office (she couldn't seem to get through because of busy circuits. Then I called my Dad back and had him check his home phone, which he found to be out of order. All things considered, I was about to get ready to make a 2hr trip to check him out, until I finally made contact with him. I was really starting to stress out. Thing that really kills me is, when I tried to call my brother's phone, as a last resort, I got someone who sounded like his wife and she said I had the wrong number! Sure be glad when Dad can get a Doctor's appointment for ME to take him to so we (He & I) can get the straight scoop on his medical condition and then get the Will itself set the way Dad wants it to be. As I'm thinking about it, I need to get the name and phone number of someone else down there that I can get in touch with, to check on Dad if I can't get in touch with him. Can't depend on my brother, he's only looking out for himself. You all said to unload when I needed to and boy, did I need to. Thanks to you all, for listening.

                                         Later on, Bill

[droopy]

is All the phone trouble related to the storms the other day?
glad your father is ok

[bill440cars]

is All the phone trouble related to the storms the other day?
glad your father is ok

 
           I'm hoping that the storms are the cause of the phone problems. When I was trying t get in touch with him, I wasn't even thinking about that, at that time. My wife actually suggested that too. Thanks for your concern, Dad seems to be just fine. Wish he could stay focused better. I'm sure that, for his age, he's doing pretty good in that area. I figure that it's just a matter of time before my brother and his wife kick up some kind of problem though. So far, they don't know about the efforts (by my Dad & myself) to change things back the way that Dad had intended. Sure wish he (or I) lived closer. The time, when I will be need to be spending more time down there, is probably not too far away. I've got to be prepared for that too, and it's not going to be easy. We don't have room for him to move in with us and I'll have to build some kind of lift so that my wife can get James' (the "Special Needs" youngman who lives with us and we work with) wheelchair in and out of the van (he can get himself in and out). Thinking about basically a frame with an electric winch (that I already have). Don't know When I'm gonna be able to do any kind of work on a bike, but Firstthings First. Gotta go for now. Take care.

                                     Later on, Bill

[Terry in Australia]

G'Day Bill, just be careful that you don't "over-emphasise" the need for your Dad to change his will etc, you don't want to confuse him more, and have him think that you're only helping him so he'll change things to favor you, over your brother. Just my opinion mate, and no offence intended. Cheers, Terry.