Please forgive my bad language.
Ok. For those of you who don't know I sell furniture. And not just any furniture but AMISH furniture. Lifetime Guarantee. 100% real wood, no veneer.
So why in the world would you come in to my store and act like a #$%*ing moron? Am I wearing a leisure suit? Do I have #$%*ty cars for sale out front of my trailer office? Is there a really hot looking 12 year old outside washing cars to get all the mental responses from men? NO there isn't.
My store is clean. Air conditioned in the summer and #$%*ing heated in the winter. I don't allow food, smoking, drinks, or small children to be left unattended. I have signs everywhere for #$%*'s sake.
I am nice, I listen to you even if I don't #$%*ing care, because I want you to be happy. And not because I make money if you buy.... because I don't. I get paid regardless if you buy or not. That's how we roll. What ever the customer wants to do with the furniture, no matter the reason, we will try to find a piece that works for you. If we don't have one we'll make it. Plain and simple.
Made by hand, from real wood, bought and cut in the USA. No ifs ands or buts.
Then why oh why are you walking in here with no shirt on?
Leaving your car run and the music blaring?
Harassing the customers because they are “spending too much money”?
Is someone forcing you to buy here? Talk to me? Look at my “#$%*ty wood furniture”?
Give me one reason why I shouldn’t call the cops. And no, it’s not because I’m racist. You are white too.
Call me all the names you want. I now refuse to sell you anything.
I flat out refuse to give you any #$%*ing attention because you are a piece of #$%*. Not because your money isn’t good enough.
Yes you #$%*ing moron…. Lifetime MEANS Lifetime. Not a year. Not 6 months.
No you #$%* you cannot break it just to get a new one. Guarantee means build quality and craftsmanship. Not unbreakable. Retard.
OMG! This is REAL?!?!?! I thought it was plastic?
When have the amish ever made plastic furniture? Or used any kind of industrialized process for that matter?
Are they known as an industrious people? Do they work where you work?
No I am not amish. Yes I have a beard. So does your husband, baby daddy, whatever the #$%* you trashy white people call the “father” of your children. Mine just seems to be neatly trimmed and covers my whole face. Oh wait…I’m an adult and not 15. That’s probably why.
I have had it with you people. I am not Ashley Furniture. I am not a hole in the wall chair dealer. I am an upscale furniture store. We advertise as such. If the sticker is out of your #$%*ing price range then YOU CANNOT #$%*ING BUY IT!! I don’t do credit, I don’t do layaway, I don’t haggle on price. Period. End of #$%*ing story.
Don’t like it? Get the #$%* out. I’m not a used car salesman. I don’t have to take your #$%*. Even if we are the same “race”. So go home to your trailer, #$%* your sister, eat some mayonnaise sandwiches, and listen to your John Cougar Mellencamp records.
It’s been a long week….. They closed the streets to the mall. Amazing the kind of people who go there.
I’m sorry I had to put you through it.
A nice long bike ride will help.
6pm needs to hurry up.
