G'Day Heff, (I love your avatar by the way!) a Kiwi is a New Zealander, named after one of their native birds, an ugly little flightless thing, with a very long beak. Now don't get me wrong mate, we've got ugly flightless birds here called "Emu's", but they're big bastards, about the size of an African Ostrich, but not as attractive.
Luckily for Aussies the Kiwi's (apart from being communists who's Prime Minister, Helen Clarke, was born a man) are fairly slow witted, or else they'd probably call us "Emu's" in retaliation. Then again, they might just prefer it to their other nickname, "Sheep F*cker", ha ha!
In New Zealand there are the caucasians of course, but also the Maori's. They are mostly huge fearsome warriors and quite beautiful women. The men are either Rugby players or bouncers (crowd controllers) who, embarrassed by the caucasians' perverted attraction to livestock, have mostly moved to Australia to live. Here's a classic tale about a "Kiwi":
"A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realised that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there a while, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely Kiwi. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young Australian woman, the most beautiful woman the man had ever seen. She was in a pretty bad way when he rescued her and he slowly nursed her back to health.
When the young maiden was well enough, he introduced her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the Kiwi started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought the urges as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear, "Would you mind taking the dog for a walk, love?" Cheers Terry.
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