Topic: new years resolutions

[Raul CB750K1]

Well done Raul, I'll be happy if I can just get to the stage where running doesn't hurt! Cheers, Terry.

It just takes two months, at least that's what it took for me. I just designed my own schedule based on another one I followed ten years ago from a book I no longer have. Basically, you start running 8 minutes a day -yes, just 8 minutes-, in four shifts, separated by two minutes walking. That is: two minutes running, two minutes walking, two minutes running, two minutes walking, two minutes running, two minutes walking, two minutes running, two minutes walking.

Next week you increase two minutes total, that makes 10 minutes running: three run, two walk, two walk, two run, two walk, two run, two walk, three run. In 20 weeks you will be running an hour -I just jog by time, not by distance- I perfectly remember that the first weeks were very easy, it was painful in the 5th-8th or so, but by 10 week it didn't hurt anymore, you end up tired but not suffering. I'm positive there will be plenty of runners over here, so there would be more experiences on the matter. It has worked for me, as I had lost 25 lbs in these months, and I plan to lose almost the same before the marathon. Even if I can't finish I will end up doing such an improvement to myself. Only problem now is that it takes courage to get out to run under chilling weather....

[72 yellow]

My New Years resolution is to make to next Dec 31, so I can make the same resolution again (and on and on). Pretty good idea I think.       

[seaweb11]

Revue math 8 and 9 so I can sort out Raul CB750K1's post

[Raul CB750K1]

Revue math 8 and 9 so I can sort out Raul CB750K1's post

When you have been sedentary for long, running 8 minutes -even when it seems easy- is a big punishment. It is easier if you divide it into four sections of two minutes each, and between running sections, instead of standing you just walk. That is, the walking time doesn't compute to the total.

First week: 2R+2W+2R+2W+2R+2W+2R+2W, 8 minutes run.
2nd week:  3R+2W+2R+2W+3R+2W+2R+2W, 10 minutes run.
3rd week:  3R+2W+3R+2W+3R+2W+3R+2W, 12 minutes run.

and so on...

[seaweb11]

  ;DThanks...........So is that R squared x the root of W= I'm tired already 

[Terry in Australia]

Thanks Raul, obviously Derek's still celebrating, but I understand what you mean.

Now I took the last couple of weeks off from my daily 3 mile walk, so tomorrow I'll start again at 5am, when it's (hopefully) a tad cooler, (it's hovering at about 100 (+) deg F today) and I'll break up the walk with 8 minutes of running, in 2 minute increments, with 2 minutes of walking in between.

Thanks for the tip mate, if I can lose 50 pounds this year, I'll be ecstatic! Cheers, Terry.

[mrblasty]

This is the year I will stretch my septum to its final size 00 gauge. nearly 14 years after starting. For those who don't know what I'm talking about the septum is what divides your nostrils and the picture is a graphic of the size progression, for reference I started at at 10 gauge, I've been at 0 gauge for the last 3 years.  To get an accurate comparison click on the image.

[Raul CB750K1]

This is the year I will stretch my septum to its final size 00 gauge. nearly 14 years after starting. For those who don't know what I'm talking about the septum is what divides your nostrils and the picture is a graphic of the size progression, for reference I started at at 10 gauge, I've been at 0 gauge for the last 3 years.  To get an accurate comparison click on the image.

Place "speechless" emoticon here.....   


What is the purpose of this mrblasty? If it just to inflict pain yourself, I have seen penis enlargement devices that, had you started with them 14 years ago, you would have a 2-feet-dick by now... at least that's a good outcome for such a prolonged punishment.

[mrblasty]

The pain aspect is relatively minor and plays no part in the decision to do this.  It's kind of hard to explain, but simply it's as close to religious a practice as I participate in.  Several cultures throughout time have participated in this type of ritual adornment, including a few on the North American continent pre white inflicted genocide, and this is my way of carrying on the tradition.  It's something men would have to do before they could be called men, anyone with a tattoo, should understand. 
  What I forgot to mention was 28 years ago I began stretching my dong and had completed that project and had to move on to something else, so if one one here happens to fall into a well or abandoned mine shaft and would need help out give me call, I'll throw you a line.
   

[Raul CB750K1]

Yeah, I've seen people elongating their ear lobes too, and some people rather scarify their skin than put a tatoo. It surely makes a great conversation subject.

Do you normally wear that septum ring? I always thought it was painful. After all -no offence intended-, that's what pigs and other farm animals were put to keep them from eating from the mud, because of the pain. That's what I was told by my older relatives when I was a kid.

[mrblasty]

I wear the ring sometimes, mostly I wear a short tube that is only visible if you look at the side of my nose.  Bones, quills and wood spikes are what I prefer to wear.  Yes people put rings in the noses of livestock for control purposes, and I can say a ring of that size does get in the way when trying to do things like drink from a can, eat a cheese burger, pleasuring a woman in certain ways.  Thats what separates us from the animals, we can take the ring out and function without hinderance.
  It sure is fun skidding up to a cafe or bar on the 750 in all of its crusty glory with the surly growl of an open 4into1 exhaust, pulling off my helmet and sneering at all the fluffies with nary a dead bug on the fresh leather jacket still smelling like dye and just pulled their chrome dildos out for a nice dry 3.5 mile ride that warm afternoon.  Sorry for the rant 

[Terry in Australia]

Did you mean "septum" or "Rectum", Mr B? Personally, I think that septum stretching and piercing pales into insignificance compared to "Rectum" stretching and piercing?

I mean, you could train any old stupid farm animal to remove it's nose ring, but due to not being blessed with elbows, most "beasts of burden" can't reach around to their butts (As any New Zealander will tell you.........) so this is a real challenge! Plus with an ornamental "rectum ring" you can take your car keys with you when you go swimming!  

[mlinder]

Know a bit about rectum stretching, do ya then, Terry?

[oldfordguy]

I was going to post the results/update to my resolution, but it took me awhile to pick myself up off the floor laughing from the last few posts.

My resolution was to stop buying Honda SOHC4 motorcycles.  Unfortunately, that only lasted until about 10:00am this morning, when I couldn't help myself and bought a 750F1.  After reading all the posts before this, however, you all have me now thinking very strongly about giving quitting smoking another go.  Maybe brining this new acquisition back to life will give me something to keep me occupied.

[mrblasty]

 in Australia link=topic=16959.msg302842#msg302842 date=1199226770]
Did you mean "septum" or "Rectum", Mr B? Personally, I think that septum stretching and piercing pales into insignificance compared to "Rectum" stretching and piercing?

I mean, you could train any old stupid farm animal to remove it's nose ring, but due to not being blessed with elbows, most "beasts of burden" can't reach around to their butts (As any New Zealander will tell you.........) so this is a real challenge! Plus with an ornamental "rectum ring" you can take your car keys with you when you go swimming!  

Well I think having a set of keys dangling from my ass would aggravate my chronic hemorrhoids and attract all manner of toothy fish like barracuda so I may have to pass on that idea. Terry have you ever looked up GOATSE on the internet?
I would post it for you but I fear the moderators would bar me from the forum and you guys are the only friends I have right now.

[DammitDan]

I wonder what Mr. Wessner's contribution to that last post was? 

[Raul CB750K1]

I wonder what Mr. Wessner's contribution to that last post was? 

So do I.   


Well, I have just googled "goatse" and I think this defines my impression too




I wonder which gauge did the guy used to stretch his rectum. Squash gauge? Wine bottle gauge?


From what I've read, seems that the goatse webpage was very well known among internauts. I pride myself of knowing the internet very much but I must confess I never heard about it before.

[DammitDan]

There's several out there, Raul.

"What has been seen, cannot be unseen."

Goatse, Lemon Party, 2 girls 1 cup...  The list of awful unspeakable things I have been tricked into seeing on the internet goes on and on...

Maybe I just need new friends (who aren't all sick bastards). 

[dpen]

I just "googled" GOATSE & that is grosssss!!!!!!!!!

It opens the doors for a lot of one-liners that aren't savoury.

[Raul CB750K1]

The list of awful unspeakable things I have been tricked into seeing on the internet goes on and on...

There was a time when the fashion was to send and receive disgusting things. At the beginning, our natural curiosity impels us to watch it, but one day somebody crossed the line. I received pictures of people taken out from an anaconda, remains of a man eaten by a bear. That was too much for me, and from that day I started deleting the mails from the ones who used to send me such stuff regardless of what their content was. I don't find funny or enlightening to watch somebody killing himself for jumping out of a window during a fire. Internet has lots of good and bad things, it's up to you where the line between both is.


Back to the original topic, any interesting resolution out there? Something like breaking a world record in any category? -most stretched rectum doesn't count- Finish that resto job? Get yourself a Vincent Black Shadow? Fulfill a youth dream? Screw Anna Nova? -opps, the stretched rectum came to mind again-.

[Terry in Australia]

Know a bit about rectum stretching, do ya then, Terry?

Yeah mate, your momma showed me, in the shower!

[mlinder]

Know a bit about rectum stretching, do ya then, Terry?

Yeah mate, your momma showed me, in the shower!

What did she use to stretch yours out? Wine jug? Lawnmower?

[Terry in Australia]

Know a bit about rectum stretching, do ya then, Terry?

Yeah mate, your momma showed me, in the shower!

What did she use to stretch yours out? Wine jug? Lawnmower?

Her tongue............... 

[DammitDan]

I think I'm gonna throw up... 

[Terry in Australia]

Have you sent me that leaky old 650 yet Dan? I clearly remember you saying that your were gonna send it to me as your New Years resolution, but I can't find your post? Have you deleted it? C'mon mate, don't be an "Indian Resoluter"!