Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 107307 times)

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #275 on:** February 04, 2021, 06:32:15 PM »

Quote from: RAF122S on February 04, 2021, 09:33:53 AM

LOL @ Dave500 and funny one 70CB750...
My nephew just married a beautiful South African young woman. I sent Ben the table pic. Hopefully Kgao isn't offended, she is an architect. Personally I find it interesting.
At least it is made of wood and not some hunter's trophy table...
Hippos are very dangerous animals, fwiw...

Yep, back in the 70's I stayed in an ancient mansion "Bed and Breakfast" hotel in Southern Ireland. This joint was 400 years old and had 60 massive rooms. In the main entrance hall (2 stories high and as big as three normal houses) there were literally hundreds of heads of lions, tigers, leopards, jaguars, elephants, rhino's, hippos, antelopes etc on every available space on the walls, and between the two intertwining staircases was a huge glass case full of stuffed Cobras, pythons, stotes, foxes, etc.

All covered in a couple hundred years of dust, it was a scary place. This was during the "Troubles" and there were some dodgy looking Germans holding closed door meetings with the owners and their dodgy looking friends, who were very pro-IRA. (the German "Baader Meinhoff" organisation supplied weapons to the IRA) I couldn't wait for our week long stay to be over so we could get the fcuk right out of there!

Don R · « **Reply #276 on:** February 08, 2021, 11:44:27 PM »

I see they have a hippo problem in S. America, a certain drug dealer's private zoo escaped when he went to prison. Perhaps the folks who feel the need to kill one could go there, get a trophy and solve a problem.

70CB750 · « **Reply #277 on:** February 09, 2021, 03:13:04 AM »

I am sure this lightened somebody's day.

Steve F · « **Reply #278 on:** February 09, 2021, 06:09:51 AM »

Quote from: 70CB750 on February 09, 2021, 03:13:04 AM

I am sure this lightened somebody's day.

I thought I was bad if I left a scratch on the jaw..... How the h3ll?

grcamna2 · « **Reply #279 on:** February 09, 2021, 10:48:03 AM »

museum quality

Don R · « **Reply #280 on:** February 09, 2021, 02:32:45 PM »

Holy wow, forgot his glasses?

grcamna2 · « **Reply #281 on:** February 09, 2021, 02:34:08 PM »

Quote from: Don R on February 09, 2021, 02:32:45 PM

Holy wow, forgot his glasses?

You could lean that one up against a 'wall of shame'

70CB750 · « **Reply #282 on:** February 09, 2021, 03:20:28 PM »

That was a brave and strong end mill

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #283 on:** February 09, 2021, 03:45:11 PM »

The madam of a brothel has a problem, so she goes to a local priest. “I have two talking female parrots,” she tells him. “All they can say is ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’”
“That’s awful,” the priest agrees, “but I have a solution to your problem. I have two male parrots whom I’ve taught to pray and read the Bible.
If we put your parrots with mine, I believe yours will stop saying that awful phrase and will instead learn to recite the word of God.
The next day, the madame brings her parrots to the priest’s house and puts them in with the male parrots, who are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
“Hi, we’re prostitutes,” say the females. “Do you want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks at the other and squawks, “Close that Bible, Frank! Our prayers are answered!”

grcamna2 · « **Reply #284 on:** February 09, 2021, 09:07:00 PM »

LOL

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #285 on:** February 09, 2021, 11:07:44 PM »

I work (well, show up) as a defence contractor, working on the logistics side of Australian defence radar systems, and one of our weapon systems is the Swedish built (by Saab) RBS-70 anti aircraft missile system.

Many years ago, I worked in uniform in Special Forces with a British former Royal Marine Commando who'd joined the Australian Army. He was telling me about the then British anti-aircraft missile system the Brits used against the Argentinian Airforce during the Falklands War, the "Vulcan" Missile System.

He posed this riddle:

"What has the Argentinian Airforce, and Mr Spocks (Star Trek) mother have in common?" The correct answer is, "They were both fcuked by Vulcans".......

Don R · « **Reply #286 on:** February 12, 2021, 08:29:10 PM »

The Lego store just re-opened after lockdown.
People were lined up for blocks.

34barab · « **Reply #287 on:** February 13, 2021, 01:18:12 PM »

Quote from: Terry in Australia on February 09, 2021, 03:45:11 PM

The madam of a brothel has a problem, so she goes to a local priest. “I have two talking female parrots,” she tells him. “All they can say is ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’”
“That’s awful,” the priest agrees, “but I have a solution to your problem. I have two male parrots whom I’ve taught to pray and read the Bible.
If we put your parrots with mine, I believe yours will stop saying that awful phrase and will instead learn to recite the word of God.
The next day, the madame brings her parrots to the priest’s house and puts them in with the male parrots, who are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage.
“Hi, we’re prostitutes,” say the females. “Do you want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks at the other and squawks, “Close that Bible, Frank! Our prayers are answered!”

Very funny. Thanks for the yuck.

dave500 · « **Reply #288 on:** February 13, 2021, 01:41:00 PM »

today i melted an ice cube with just my mind,i stared at it thinking melt melt melt,it took a lot longer than i thought it would.

seanbarney41 · « **Reply #289 on:** February 13, 2021, 04:53:27 PM »

Quote from: dave500 on February 13, 2021, 01:41:00 PM

today i melted an ice cube with just my mind,i stared at it thinking melt melt melt,it took a lot longer than i thought it would.

you must be thinking about all the snow in Michigan too...think harder already

grcamna2 · « **Reply #290 on:** February 13, 2021, 06:55:25 PM »

Quote from: seanbarney41 on February 13, 2021, 04:53:27 PM

Quote from: dave500 on February 13, 2021, 01:41:00 PM
today i melted an ice cube with just my mind,i stared at it thinking melt melt melt,it took a lot longer than i thought it would.
you must be thinking about all the snow in Michigan too...think harder already

I want to visit someone/motorcycle person in Mt. Clemens,MI. Think more about melting the snow Dave500

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #291 on:** February 13, 2021, 10:23:52 PM »

I don't want to piss on all your parades, but the weather where Dave lives is in the 70's/80's at the moment, so as much as his mental powers are beyond reproach, don't get your hopes up with Dave's telekinesis, your chances of riding your bikes on a dry, warm road is still a while away......

dave500 · « **Reply #292 on:** February 14, 2021, 12:41:56 AM »

im toasting a slice of bread as we speak,with my mind,should be ready by breakfast time?

Terry in Australia · « **Reply #293 on:** February 14, 2021, 12:59:53 AM »

Quote from: dave500 on February 14, 2021, 12:41:56 AM

im toasting a slice of bread as we speak,with my mind,should be ready by breakfast time?

Well done Dave, I hope you're not just putting a slice of bread on your hot concrete driveway and taking the credit for it?

70CB750 · « **Reply #294 on:** February 14, 2021, 03:51:34 AM »

dusterdude · « **Reply #295 on:** February 14, 2021, 04:38:08 AM »

Is that an attachment to an angle grinder?

Sent from my LM-X420 using Tapatalk

StockRider · « **Reply #296 on:** February 14, 2021, 07:51:47 AM »

Quote from: 70CB750 on February 14, 2021, 03:51:34 AM

Quote from: dusterdude on February 14, 2021, 04:38:08 AM
Is that an attachment to an angle grinder?

Sent from my LM-X420 using Tapatalk

Sometimes you want to be able to express yourself more artistically..., takes a strong machinist to use that without a side handle (or two

).

jgger · « **Reply #297 on:** February 14, 2021, 10:30:05 AM »

I saw one of those once. It was a older model, with a hand crank though.😁

70CB750 · « **Reply #298 on:** February 14, 2021, 11:05:59 AM »

Quote from: dusterdude on February 14, 2021, 04:38:08 AM

Is that an attachment to an angle grinder?

Sent from my LM-X420 using Tapatalk

Not really, the thred matches, thats all.

dusterdude · « **Reply #299 on:** February 14, 2021, 01:42:41 PM »

Too bad,I like that thing

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Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 107307 times)