Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE!

[bill440cars]

Just wanted to toss out the miscellaneous fact that in four days, this thread will be exactly one year old.

I'm rooting for you Bill.  Hope everything goes well this week.

Cheers
mystic_1

what a long strange trip it's been , huh Bill

         Thanks for the reminder mystic, but I've been very aware of how long this thread has been going, but I appreciate your reminder also.
          Yes spikey, it HAS been a very long and very strange trip. Thing is, The actual start of the situation started some time before that and has just escalated along the way and really got a bit wild recently. Fortunately, Supervision from above, input from here, help from some old friends (who happen to be established lawyers that Dad and I were in the Army Reserves with some years back) and also those ladies at the Country Clerk's office, the Bank and at the Nursing Home, things are progressing  very well and looks like we might be able to wind this down before long. I can tell you that it seems like it's been forever, that this has been going on. Of course I still have to get his things back, get them evicted, get his bills lined out, set up some of his bills as "Direct Pay" to try to cut down on some of what I'll have to keep up with. Also, if he's able to function well enough to be at home, I'll have to get "Home Health Care" set up and things like that. On the other hand, if he is going to need to be somewhere else, there are 2 very nice "Retirement Homes" close by us and he would get "Assisted Living" and be able to go places with me (or us) and not be the same as a nursing home. All depends on what he can handle and also what he wants to do (I'm trying to let him do what he wants, as long as he is able to handle it, you know). All in all, it's still going to be a pretty good amount of extra responsibility on me but, you do what you have to do.
     On another note, I'm sure Praying that he doesn't get to the stage where he doesn't know who I am and thinks I'm neglecting him or just after his money. I would never do anything like that and, at the present time, he knows that and is always telling me that he really appreciates me being there to take care of his wants and needs. Ya gotta admit that that alone is worth a heck of a lot!      

[bill440cars]

      Man, I have had some very trying times since yesterday. I couldn't manage to get the folks together last Friday, to accomplish what I needed to and on the way home I realized that the ticket I got for not being able to prove that I had insurance, was due Monday morning or I would have to go to court about it. 1st, the cop put the wrong phone number o the back of the ticket and referred me to the wrong court house (sent me to the one in Ft. Smith instead of the one i Greenwood) and instead of leaving GREENWOOD AREA AT ABOUT 9AM, I HAD TO WAIT TIL ABOUT 2PM (after my court appearance), did not manage to get folks together to take care of business on my Dad's behalf, that day and ran over something on the way home, that punctured my left rear tire at about 8PM. So, this morning, I was going to go to Sears to get the tire taken care of under the "Road Hazard " thing and at about 6AM, the Nursing Home called to let me know that my Dad was having breathing problems and they were going to transport him to the hospital at Conway (at least 2 and a half hours away from me). So, I had to get rolling and on that funky spare wheel. Dad stayed there til about 10:45 or so and they released him to go back to the Nursing Home and let me take him. After I got him back there and settled in, I went and took care of some business and then started calling some folks to set up the "Witnessing, Signing of some documents AND notarizing to make them legal. Then I filed them at the court house as suggested by our lawyer. Now, everything my Dad has, is set up as shared ownership by my Dad and (set up as "or") me, including the property where David is presently living. Just got some loose ends to tie up and my Dad still wants to "Disown David" legally, if that's possible. He wants absolutely "NO Ties" with him and does NOT want to see him again. Dad is MAD and HURT, saying that David has crossed too many lines too many times and there is NO going back.   

[Sam Green Racing]

Wow, things are moving a lot faster all of a sudden Billy, hope it all pans out OK for you and your dad, it's gone on long enough.

Sam.

[bill440cars]

Wow, things are moving a lot faster all of a sudden Billy, hope it all pans out OK for you and your dad, it's gone on long enough.

Sam.

          Thank you for that Sam, I think I've got most everything tied down and just need to take care of some loose ends (the main things were finished up today. I've got the current Durable Power Of Attorney, the Health Care Power Of Attorney (some call a Health Care Proxy), everything that has ties in the bank in in Dad's OR my name, Dad's home & the place where David lives in Dad's OR my name (with right to survivor ship), letter to revoke all POAs prior to the one I now have and a Last Will and Testament withe the beginning wording that revokes ALL previous will or such. New titles are coming for the Dakota and the Trailer and then they will be changed to show ownership as my Dad OR me and as soon as I find out how much is owed on my Dad's Van and,IF I can get Dad to let me pay it off, the title on it will also reflect my Dad's name OR mine. 

          BTW, Jan hasn't been seen by my Dad since the day she put him in that nursing home (Aug 4th) and my brother hasn't been to see my Dad since about the 2nd of Aug (I personally saw David fueling up his truck early the morning of the 4th and getting ready to go fishing. Now, there's concern for ya.   

[333]

I would love to be a fly on the wall when they get a clue.

[bill440cars]

I would love to be a fly on the wall when they get a clue.

               

                                            So would I!

[kghost]

Hey the important thing is your dad's ok.

Middle of the night trips to the hospital are never good

[bill440cars]

Hey the important thing is your dad's ok.

Middle of the night trips to the hospital are never good

           So right you are Tim, so right you are! He has told me more than once, that everything that is accomplished, in the way of getting the 2 of them away from him and his assets, gives him even more peace of mind and lets him relax even more. Now, if we can just get some control over the fluid buildup in his lungs. I think that if they could get control over that, he might have a better chance of getting some more energy going. I'm doing all I can to keep his own guardianship, keep his assets and keep his "Dignity" as long as absolutely possible. Before I left him today, he was doing quite well. I can't tell you how I was feeling, as I drove down to Conway to the hospital there. I can tell you that , when I entered the room in the emergency room section, he seemed to liven up (just knowing I was there). I swear I can see him reacting so well from having a lot of the stress of knowing that THEY aren't in the picture any more. Dad is a very proud man and to have ALL control and decisions of his life taken away from him, has left him very depressed and feeling useless. It's bad enough when someone else tries to do it, but your own son! That's why, if it is possible, he wants to ACTUALLY disown David. He never wants to be bothered by him again. NEVER (Dad's own words)! By now, I really don't blame my Dad. David has caused stress on my Dad, my Daughter, my Wife and Me! Only concern he has, is for himself and that's going to be his downfall. My Dad has said several times that he longs for the "Good Old Days" and is referring to the times when he and my Granddad were running the motorcycle shop, dealing with the customers, building, working on and riding the motorcycles of back then (up until about the late 50s' and early 60's) I remember some of those times myself and they were some really cool times.
I have to tell you, I have been hearing some really cool old stories from back then, about my Granddad and my Dad. Just to see the gleam in his eyes and hear the excitement in his voice, is a real thrill for me. Because he IS more relaxed, he is recalling a lot of the old stories and such.

[troppo]

I`m so glad to hear things are starting to go well bill.
With your dad telling you all these stories you are learning some family history, its a great time for both of you, your learning things he did back then and he is remembering some good times with HIS dad.
Maybe you should talk to him about setting up somewhere the two of you could do a bike or two, i bet his face would really light up at that.
Cheers mate, and take it easy
Troppo

[bill440cars]

I`m so glad to hear things are starting to go well bill.
With your dad telling you all these stories you are learning some family history, its a great time for both of you, your learning things he did back then and he is remembering some good times with HIS dad.
Maybe you should talk to him about setting up somewhere the two of you could do a bike or two, i bet his face would really light up at that.
Cheers mate, and take it easy
Troppo

           You are so right!   The other day, I made the comment that I would like to have a building with plenty of room and just be able to work on the motorcycles I have....and Dad said, "So Would I!" 

[troppo]

           You are so right!   The other day, I made the comment that I would like to have a building with plenty of room and just be able to work on the motorcycles I have....and Dad said, "So Would I!" 

Well i reckon you had better start planning something mate, i think you and your dad still have a few years worth of building together

[bill440cars]

           You are so right!   The other day, I made the comment that I would like to have a building with plenty of room and just be able to work on the motorcycles I have....and Dad said, "So Would I!" 

Well i reckon you had better start planning something mate, i think you and your dad still have a few years worth of building together

                        Here's Hoping!

[jtb]

           You are so right!   The other day, I made the comment that I would like to have a building with plenty of room and just be able to work on the motorcycles I have....and Dad said, "So Would I!" 

Well i reckon you had better start planning something mate, i think you and your dad still have a few years worth of building together

                        Here's Hoping!

+1.  Bill, I got to admire you for the way you're handling this.  Keep your chin up and keep going, you're doing a great job for your Dad.
JOhn

[bill440cars]

       Well, THIS has been an interesting afternoon, I didn't get to leave as early as I had hoped. It started raining here before I left and I drove away from it. I got down there, saw my Dad and spent some time with him. Then, I went to the house  to see how things were. I went ahead and changed the door lock on the lake side of the boat house, made sure that nothing had been messed with at the house or in the garage. Everything looked secure, got his newspaper and delivered it to him and said my goodbyes and went to leave. Found it raining cats and dogs, got drenched getting to the van, tried to call my wife to let her know that I was on my way. Could not get through, phone was screwing up. Tried to get my Daughter, so she could let her Mother know and couldn't get through to her. Tried to call our home phone and that didn't work well either. Must have had some kind of trouble with a Tower or something. I couldn't get anyone that I tried to get in Greenwood. A friend of our tried to call me and, when I answered the call, I got a ringing as if I was trying to call someone. I was ready to take the phone to Alltel Friday morning for them to do whatever to get them fixed and then we realize that there must have been a Tower problem or something like that. BTW, while I was at the lake, I met the neighbor from across the street and found out that David and Jan had tried to get him to let them know when I was down and what I might be doing or whatever. He told them there was no way that he was going get involved in a family thing! After we had met and talked for a bit, he told me that they just didn't seem like they were doing right by my Dad and he really liked my Dad also. He seemed to realize pretty quickly that I was in no way like my brother and his wife and I'm thankful for that! All in all, he and I had a good visit and, as I was going to leave, he told me that it was good to meet me and he would have visited my Dad but he didn't want to depress him. I told him that my Dad would like to have some visitors and assured him that my Dad wasn't going to be there any longer than he needed to be (and that I had full control, with both kinds of Power Of Attorneys/ Durable POA and Durable Health Care POA and could get him out, Period!). Next week, I'm looking into how much more theraphy he should get and start working on getting him out and have got him thinking seriously about coming up here for a little while (til I can be sure that those other two have cleared out and won't be back! Periodically, I remind him that I'm doing my best to get things set like he wants them and I'm out to help him, NOT help myself. I'm trying to see if I can get him to go to get some rehabilitation theraphy from a place up here, that specializes in it, if we could get him referred there by his Doctor. He has already said that he could probably be talked into coming up here for about a month, to give me time to make sure that they (David & Jan) were out of the area and things were settled down down there. And that's about it for now.    

[fuzzybutt]

i find myself looking a few times a day at this thread waiting for updates. i guess we really ARE like a big family. feels almost like this is happening to a family member. brings back some memories from when mom passed away in 2005 and i oculdnt be there to take care of things. Bill, take care of your dad and his problems but please please, take care of yourself too, you hear?

[troppo]

Hey bill
I reckon you might want to get in touch with any of your dads friends and explain that he is a little under the weather and maybe a visit from a friend or two would help cheer him up.
I reckon he would enjoy some company from some old friends as much as your company.
Keep your chin up mate, you are doing a damned good thing here and you should be proud of yourself.
Oh and say hi to your dad from his "net family"
Cheers mate
Troppo

[DarkRider]

i find myself looking a few times a day at this thread waiting for updates. i guess we really ARE like a big family. feels almost like this is happening to a family member. Bill, take care of your dad and his problems but please please, take care of yourself too, you hear?

X2

[DME]

Bill, I believe I called you the nicest guy on the forums some time ago.
This story also proves that you are a stand up guy that doesn´t back away when the going gets tough. Good on you!

Keep the spirit up!

Cheers
Dan

[droopy]

i find myself looking a few times a day at this thread waiting for updates. i guess we really ARE like a big family. feels almost like this is happening to a family member. Bill, take care of your dad and his problems but please please, take care of yourself too, you hear?

X2

I think alot of us check this thread at least daily and has been said before keep up the good work
you and your dad will be alot happier when all is said and done

[bill440cars]

i find myself looking a few times a day at this thread waiting for updates. i guess we really ARE like a big family. feels almost like this is happening to a family member. brings back some memories from when mom passed away in 2005 and i oculdnt be there to take care of things. Bill, take care of your dad and his problems but please please, take care of yourself too, you hear?

          Sorry to hear about your Mom fuzzy, mine passed on back in Feb 2002. I share your pain.

          I agree fuzzy, we ARE like a big family. And I can tell YOU, as well as the others, the family HERE is a lot more desirable than the one member that my Dad wants to DISOWN! You all deserve some credit for the way this is turning out too! I mean, you have no idea how much it helps for me to be able to come here and just unload. Besides that, I have gotten some info here from some of you and just offering your support helps more than you know. Of course I got some Major help from above.   So many times, I was at the right place at the right time and was able to cut them off before they could do some of the things and their attorney dismissing before things could happen. (that was no accident).

              Thanks guys, my Dad Thanks You and I thank you!

                                     Bill    

            Also, Thanks fuzzy, at times (most of the time actually), I'm running on reserve energy in all categories and only seem to realize it "Before" & "After" starting down there to "Go Another Round". When I get back home, it seems like it takes at least one day to get enough energy & to get my head straight enough to do things that I need to catch up on at home and then I'm on my way back down there again, by that time. I'll tell you, I can hardly wait to get down there and get hold of his yard. I'm going to take pictures of his yard and the large weeds that are growing up through the steps on the rear deck and forcing a person to push them apart, just to go off of the deck. David only lives about a half mile away and has a 15yr old son. Neither of them could mange to take a bit of time out of their busy schedule, to take care of his yard.

i find myself looking a few times a day at this thread waiting for updates. i guess we really ARE like a big family. feels almost like this is happening to a family member. Bill, take care of your dad and his problems but please please, take care of yourself too, you hear?

X2

           Thank you for your support and input too Chris!                                    

[333]

Not that we need any proof of your hard work, but before and after pictures would be nice.  Then we could see how you've really neglected your Dad's place! .

And not that it's an option at this point, but I never met a 15 year old that wasn't interested in a little extra cash or a Grandparent that wasn't willing to pay a grandchild for some yard work, even if the grand parent couldn't afford it.

[bill440cars]

Hey bill
I reckon you might want to get in touch with any of your dads friends and explain that he is a little under the weather and maybe a visit from a friend or two would help cheer him up.
I reckon he would enjoy some company from some old friends as much as your company.
Keep your chin up mate, you are doing a damned good thing here and you should be proud of yourself.
Oh and say hi to your dad from his "net family"
Cheers mate
Troppo

         There have been a few who have stopped in on the weekends and I've been there about every other day myself. Going in Tuesday morning, to see just how much "Theraphy" Dad needs to go through before he can be out of there. I should get a straight answer because they know that I'm NOT going to leave him there indefinitely and can take him out of there anytime I decide to. He IS ready to go also, but he's leaving it up to me. It's looking like he's willing to come up here for a little while, at least. I wan to make sure that they are out of the area before, if he decides to go back down there and can function well enough to do so. So, if all goes according to plan, this coming week will see: "The Letter" (requesting Dad's things) will be sent to them, the cell phones will be turned off, an eviction notice will be made and sent, the dish network will be turned off, the titles to the truck and the trailer (which should be back in a few days) will be changed to reflect the owner's to be my Dad or me! In other words, ALL possibilities of drawing ANY services using my Dad's money in any way will be stopped! AND, if they don't respond appropriately to "The Letter", Legal Action will be taken. Funny thing is, I've already (accidentally) got a nibble of a buyer for the place my brother is occupying.

          Also gonna change the home phone number and get it unlisted.

          My Daughter Karla and I are going down tomorrow to see him AND I'm going to load up his ridding mower, take it back with me and find out why he couldn't start it up to cut his own grass last year.

           Oh, I will definitely tell him that you all said hello! He'll like that, I've told him about all the support and that it was from all over too!
 

[bill440cars]

Bill, I believe I called you the nicest guy on the forums some time ago.
This story also proves that you are a stand up guy that doesn´t back away when the going gets tough. Good on you!

Keep the spirit up!

Cheers
Dan

        Thanks Dan, you're too kind! I just try to live to do the way I was taught by my Mom and my Dad. Too bad that the same stuff didn't rub off on my brother. I just have to do the best I can to get my Dad what he wants. He's lived 83 years. He and my Mom worked to earn a decent living to provide for us, she invested in savings account, Bonds and eventually CDs, to build a nice nest egg
for them to retire with and she passed on to soon, leaving my Dad by himself. My Mom taught herself how to type, got a job in the records doom at an insurance company in Little Rock. Then, she worked her way up the ladder and several jobs and insurance companies later, was the Vice President in Claims. Did I mention that she did not finish high school? Dad didn't finish high school either and retired with the Army Reserves as a CW4 (Chief Warrant Officer) with 41 years service and as a GS 07 Senior Unit Administrator at an Army Reserve Unit in Little Rock (and I'm not sure how many years). I was the first one to actually graduate. I didn't do as well as they did though. I retired from the military (Active USAF/ 4yrs, inactive USAF/ 2yrs and Army Reserves 23 years and I don't have that nest egg cause we spent quite a bit on our Daughter over the years because of her seizure disorder. But, ya do what ya gotta do. Spirit's up and going still!    

[bill440cars]

i find myself looking a few times a day at this thread waiting for updates. i guess we really ARE like a big family. feels almost like this is happening to a family member. Bill, take care of your dad and his problems but please please, take care of yourself too, you hear?

X2

I think alot of us check this thread at least daily and has been said before keep up the good work
you and your dad will be alot happier when all is said and done

          That's my goal droopy, to give him reason to be alot happier, by removing all the stress I possibly can. I know that a number of you all check in here and I'm so thankful to have all the support for my Dad and the situation. 

[bill440cars]

Not that we need any proof of your hard work, but before and after pictures would be nice.  Then we could see how you've really neglected your Dad's place! .

And not that it's an option at this point, but I never met a 15 year old that wasn't interested in a little extra cash or a Grandparent that wasn't willing to pay a grandchild for some yard work, even if the grand parent couldn't afford it.

          my printer is on the fritz and I'll have to get another, but as soon as I can I'll take care of the before & after shots. How I've neglected the place?  Okay. Nicky (David's son) is a real prize too! Well, lok at what he had to use for an example of what he should be like. And Dad could afford to pay well, but I know what you meant and you're would be right (in most cases).