Is this a bad time to bring up ratbikes?
Man, after seeing your post apocalyptic rat-nasty ride go on that road trip of yours I think ratbikes are flameproof. I have been wrong before though... 
Its true, dirt is nonflammable. Safety first, I always say.
I guess I've never done anything to my bike that couldn't be undone with simple green or a wrench. But no bike is sacred. That to me is their inherent beauty, that they are (relatively) cheap and plentiful. And, let's face it, they are often part of a new rider's learning curve, for better and worse.