Author Topic: Convincing your kid to get a job.  (Read 3080 times)

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Offline seaweb11

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Convincing your kid to get a job.
« on: June 04, 2008, 07:23:27 PM »
15 year old daughter. I wanted her to get out and get something part time last summer, unfortunately a C- in grade 8 math convinced me summer school would be a better use of her time. I know ....what a prick I am. I forced it, she had not failed.
God that was an terrible 2 months. I swear it was worse for me than her. Rag, rag, rag......that was me all summer. They don't have real summer school here any more like the old days. They do it on-line now . Someone has to keep them on task and off youtube!!!!!!!!!

She has a "A: in math this year in grade 9 ;D I win 8)  ;D ;D ;D

So.... she is out of school in 8 days, and I truly believe she thinks she will be lying on the couch all summer
eating cake and watching the big screen TV :P Even though she hears what I am saying/

I paid $700.00 per month for my eldest to get through University, just graduated and I am finally off the $$ hook on that. $80,000 paid out while her Mom collected the dole. Canadian Divorce child support goes until the child......23 graduates. ???

I plan an participating financially with this ones education but..........$$$$$
So, anyone have any secrets they want to spill on explaining to said child that some work now would alleviate a fair amount of part time work while she goes through University. I am a firm believer that the child needs to have some of their own $$ invested in school not just my $$.



Offline heffay

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2008, 07:34:04 PM »
hey seaweb... i am self employed and always try to keep busy, even if it is not billable.  but, when it came to school... i took all the loans i could and focused on school and left the work for the breaks.

i pay for it now... 500 per month.  when its done, i'll have paid at least double what you paid for the first one.

school is extremely expensive but it has occupied me for quite some time.   :)

never quit going and you'll never have to pay it back, right?  ;)

of course, i do it for the learning and not for the future that it may or may not bring... its just a path... i've never known any of my other paths.  tell her good luck, and get a job.   8)
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Offline DarkRider

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2008, 07:46:18 PM »
I wound up with my first job at the age of 13...working for my fathers used battery selling business...we would gather batteries from shops then sell them to a recycler...usually made a fairly good profit doing it. It paid off my first two vehicles doing that (78 Mustang II and a 73 Dodge D100 1/2 ton). Point being...i didnt start working because i had to..its because i wanted to start earning my own way even at that point. seems like anyone under the age of 18 nowadays doesnt want to work and would rather rely on their parents money...trying to get your daughter to work now is a great idea seaweb...with time..she will understand that if she works hard..she gets farther along in life later..
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Offline Dave-and-his-550

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2008, 07:49:22 PM »
$80,000 paid out

For college!? Daaaamn. I am so poor. Community College for me at the moment...

Offline BobbyR

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2008, 08:00:01 PM »
I am there now. I shelled out $80K for two years for crappy grades and 3 credits short of an Assocoates degree. He also has a job phobia. Well I cut him off in May and advised my wife I will take a dim view of under the table subsides. He will now go to make up his credits a local Community College for which he will take out loans. He has a job since when his tank was empty, it stayed empty until he filled it. He gets a roof over his head, clothes and food.
Before I am accused of being a heartless prick. I sat him down 2 years ago and laid out the deal in detail. I reminded him of the deal each quarter, so there would be no surprises. If he succeeds in School, I will pay off his loans so he can have a fresh start. He does not know this, nor will he till it happens. 
My job is to raise an adult, not raise a child. My inlaws raised two children who now in their late 50's are useless. The wife learned a bit from me, so we do OK.
Take a firm yet loving hand, you need to give your kids the skills and drive to fend for themselves. That is your job. You will not be around forever.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2008, 08:02:29 PM by BobbyR »
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Offline heffay

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2008, 08:03:08 PM »
oh yes, i forgot... my first job, i was 14, and worked at... you guessed it... mcfriggindonalds! 
my dad made me.
i remember i made enough to buy a sony dual disc tape deck, bagged the job after 3 months and went into lawn and landscaping w/ another friend.  35-40k in 7-8 months of mowing and landscaping was like heaven... yes, money does buy a lot when you're that young.   ;)
so does 10-20 hour days on a mower w/ lights and no ipod... oh, by the way... i've never owned an ipod and THEY ARE THE DEVIL.  stoopid ipod zombies.
oh sh!t... i'm rambling... BEER WENCH!
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2008, 08:17:25 PM »
If it's any consolation, Derek, they do finally 'get it' in the end. My eldest graduated high school then drifted for 5 years before realising that to get ahead in life you need an education. 4 years later he graduated from TRU with a degree in social work and is now a probation officer. And he financed it all himself + student loans!
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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2008, 08:33:37 PM »
Derek,

Stay lovingly firm and committed. You can make life at home worse than at work if you have to.  Plus, jobs pay and work at home only covers room and board  ;) This might be the best thing you can do for a young person. Teaches them work ethic and self respect. This IS life.

I was never given anything. We lived in the projects so there was nothing to be given. I sold newspapers on the corner and was in heaven when I got my paper route in late grade school. I always had the coolest Schwinn Sting Rays that got stolen in the projects. I bought my first TV and when I bought the 19" color TV I had it made. My material things that we could not afford was my motivation. Then I wanted a car so I got a job at the drug store as delivery boy and the rest is history.

Hang tough dad  ;)
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Offline seaweb11

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2008, 08:54:50 PM »
I think the major motivating issue "or not" is that she is not interested in the latest fashion, nor does she feel the need for all the trappings most kids fall under. She has an Ipod.  That's it!   No cell phone and no video games have ever been brought into the house. She likes to read and watch TV.

My parents never had to motivate me. I wanted crap......cars, beer, food,  ;D

"Before I am accused of being a heartless prick. I sat him down 2 years ago and laid out the deal in detail."
Loved that one ;D 

I'm trying to get a head start now with this conversation in grade 9 ;D  Think a head a bit. She is keen for University so it will happen in 4 years if she is paying attention or not.

There is a nice Marina here on Island, I think she could work at the docks as a dock handler. Tying up boats, taking fees etc. 
She will need a VHF  licence though.  Good thing I just found the Ph:# of the local Power squadron for a VHF class ;D ;D ;D ;D




Offline DammitDan

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2008, 08:56:21 PM »
How about offering her a car when she turns 16, and she will buy it with money earned and you will match anything she makes?

Of course it could be expensive if she takes you too seriously...  ;D
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Offline mrblasty

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2008, 09:09:51 PM »
You could quit feeding her, hunger gets most folks moving. 
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Offline seaweb11

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2008, 09:25:02 PM »
How about offering her a car when she turns 16, and she will buy it with money earned and you will match anything she makes?
Of course it could be expensive if she takes you too seriously...  ;D

She already has a bike waiting for her ;D http://forums.sohc4.net/index.php?topic=19705.0

You could quit feeding her, hunger gets most folks moving. 

I'm confident starving a 15 year old is illegal. Is here at least ;D 

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2008, 09:27:19 PM »
that's a tough one - surprised that at 15 she's not into the typical excesses of the mid-teens:  designer clothes, sparkling things, those texting monstrosities with a query keyboard.  wanting to buy neat things is usually the primary motivating factor for a teenager to get a job.  at your daughter's age, she's probably not concerned with the practical aspects of working just yet, so you might want to pitch the idea in a more romantic, but honest fashion.  i wouldn't push it a way that she might sense that it's something you want her to do for you, but something that she might gain value out of doing for herself.  and that's tough, since it's an unknown.  she might have a bad experience with her first job and given the unripened mind of a teenager, it might result in resentment towards you, he who suggested she get a job or worse, a kind of prejudice towards work in general.  it's only after one has had enough experiences in general that you realize that you're bound to have bad ones thrown in there.  suggest something that's in line with her personality.  this is where you might want to do a little research and suggest options that extend beyond the obvious before you pass the idea along to her.  of course, there's the more typical choices:  fast food, retail, golf course, etc.  but then there are options that might better fit the personality of your daughter:  a library since she likes to read, lifeguard if she likes to swim (it's hardly any work at all), camp counselor if she likes kids, non-profit work (for less pay) if she's interested in certain causes, and then there's the internet.  she can get into web design, graphic design, set up websites and make money through referrals, possibilities are endless.

Offline 754

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2008, 09:36:32 PM »
I never took Grade 8 math.. well I was in it for about a week, and then a very strange thing happened...

 So no, I have no grade 8 math..

My first real job where I worked all day  and bought my first bike with was threading bolts on an Oster threading macine..

I had to shear the rebar, bevel the ends, then thread them..

 for 3 cents a piece..

 FastFwd to a year ago, I got laid off, finally got a job about a month ago.. never guess.. ???

Threading freaking rods.. :o !! , and assembling, all the clutch rods that Western Star put in their trucks.. a bit more money this time..LOL..
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Offline seaweb11

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2008, 09:40:42 PM »
So 754, are you saying taking grade 8 math may have been a good thing?

that's a tough one - surprised that at 15 she's not into the typical excesses of the mid-teens:  designer clothes, sparkling things, those texting monstrosities with a query keyboard.  wanting to buy neat things is usually the primary motivating factor for a teenager to get a job.  at your daughter's age, she's probably not concerned with the practical aspects of working just yet, so you might want to pitch the idea in a more romantic, but honest fashion.  i wouldn't push it a way that she might sense that it's something you want her to do for you, but something that she might gain value out of doing for herself.  and that's tough, since it's an unknown.  she might have a bad experience with her first job and given the unripened mind of a teenager, it might result in resentment towards you, he who suggested she get a job or worse, a kind of prejudice towards work in general.  it's only after one has had enough experiences in general that you realize that you're bound to have bad ones thrown in there.  suggest something that's in line with her personality.  this is where you might want to do a little research and suggest options that extend beyond the obvious before you pass the idea along to her.  of course, there's the more typical choices:  fast food, retail, golf course, etc.  but then there are options that might better fit the personality of your daughter:  a library since she likes to read, lifeguard if she likes to swim (it's hardly any work at all), camp counselor if she likes kids, non-profit work (for less pay) if she's interested in certain causes, and then there's the internet.  she can get into web design, graphic design, set up websites and make money through referrals, possibilities are endless.

Very good food for thought. Thanks.

P.S. We live on a 12 mile long Island. Jobs are scarce, but we do have a golf course a camp and a pool, so some of the above can be done ;D   I think living here has had a lot to do with her wants and needs desires.

Offline 754

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #15 on: June 04, 2008, 09:52:14 PM »
I cant tell you anything about grade 8 math, except I think it was algebra..
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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #16 on: June 04, 2008, 11:02:07 PM »
i worked tobacco as a 14 and 15 year old summers, first job as a 16year old was as a dishwasher at a friendlies. those jobs paid for my first car, a 1972 superior built cadilac hearse, paid 1100 bucks for that car in 84'

Offline DammitDan

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #17 on: June 04, 2008, 11:33:31 PM »
Did you like Ghostbusters THAT much, fuzzybutt?  ;D
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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #18 on: June 05, 2008, 12:01:42 AM »
that movie wasnt even out then, i dont think. my hearse had moon discs, and purple, blue and silver flames painted on it. the car was charcoal colored. i think it got about 4mpg, weighed around 8000 pounds too.

Offline 74cb750

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #19 on: June 05, 2008, 02:44:07 AM »
Kids: one child is in college, she decided to go for one more degree. Very motivated kid, now has 3 jobs for the summer.

2nd child in college home for vacation. Finally applied for a job last week, and was shocked when he didn't get it. He figured he was a shoe in because his grades are near the top of his class at Northeastern. He gets to borrow my car IF he either gets a job or works on splitting wood etc etc.

It is sometimes difficult to motivate the 3rd child to work, or do anything actually. This is mainly due to the fact the wife and I are not on the same page.  :-\

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Offline Demon67

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #20 on: June 05, 2008, 03:59:05 AM »
Seaweb no words of wisdom here, had two daughters, totally different personalities, one was the first in the families to finish college and has whined that it was tough the other blew her 1st in Carelton and wound up selling camera in a mall in Ottawa then said this is crap and started with a computer firm training people how to use them, went from there to being a consultant on financial data bases for her it was a combination of luck and persistence. The first one became a wife and mother and is home schooling her kids to keep them from suffering the same things she did (I twitch over that) so I guess you try and motivate them with as much patience and understanding as possible and mention that the Foreign Legion is still recruiting.

Offline tramp

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #21 on: June 05, 2008, 04:01:53 AM »
never, never, never offer a car as a bargaining tool
tell her that if she wants wheels she'll need a job to get one
you will support her in everyway to get that job so she can buy wheels
my oppion: kids never appreciate what is given to them, let them work foer it
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Offline putnaja1

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2008, 04:46:56 AM »
I think I fell into the age old trap as a teen- I wanted cool stuff, so at 13 I got a job at the local VFW busing tables and washing dishes.  Since then, I've had a wide variety of jobs:  I worked a lot of restaurant jobs here and there- usually pretty good money in those because you got part of the tips!  I went through a stage when I was 18 or 19 and wanted a newish bike (had to take out a loan for it- my first loan!) so I worked two jobs, one at a restaurant, and then a janitor at night at a YMCA that was converted from an old elementary school.  I paid off that bike in one summer!  I worked at a liquor store, and delivered beer to the frat houses, man that was FUN!  In college I worked at a popular restaurant/bar that had lots of good looking waitresses.  That was FUN!  I took a break from college and worked as an auto mechanic, and at nights I repaired apartment building units in-between tenants for a landlord.  Those jobs maybe not quite as fun but not too bad and they paid well.  I went back to college, and got a job repairing pinball machines at a vending company- I think that was the most fun job ever!!

So, I'm not sure if I have a point to my rambling post here.  Oh wait- yes I do- it's that if you look around and try a bunch of different kinds of jobs, you can actually have fun at work and get paid for it too!  Seaweb, an angle you might want to explain to your daughter is that, now is the best time to work- because she can try out different jobs, while enjoying the stability of still living at home!!  If one job isn't working out, she can easily transition (not burning any bridges of course!) out of that job and into a new one.  Much harder to do that when we get older and have to pay for a roof over everyone's head I'm finding out!  :)

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Offline oldfordguy

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2008, 04:49:22 AM »
Get rid of the TV & Internet at home!  Or at least block it so only you can use it.  Also, you may not be able to stop feeding her, but you could have liver & onions, broccoli, etc for every meal.

Offline sparty

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Re: Convincing your kid to get a job.
« Reply #24 on: June 05, 2008, 06:05:10 AM »
You want your kid to get a job?  It is simple.  Don't give them a choice.  A job that requires some hard labor in lousy conditions is good for the constitution and reinforces the valuse of education.

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