Topic: My Dad's Situation, "At Rehab" UPDATE!

[Ecosse]

Bill,

I just discovered this thread- please allow me to offer my prayers for you and your family.

Having lost my grandmother, a dear dear woman who was the backbone of our family and like a mother to me, I can honestly say that something positive comes from this hardship. It may not reveal it self for now but, when you are ready to see it, it will be there.

All my best.

[bill440cars]

I really feel for you bill...
I was brought up to "do the right thing, and others would too" but since moving to adelaide i have found that that doesnt work here, its "#$%* on them before they can #$%* on you" and i just cant do that.
Its just a shame you are so far from your dad, he sounds like a real decent bloke and so do you. You have my thoughts going your way and i`m hoping you get this mess sorted soon.
Cheers
Troppo

               Yeah, It seems like a lot of folks have put the Golden Rule, "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You" has been changed to read," Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You" and then there's "Do Unto Others And Then Split!" On one hand I'm glad I've only got one sibling (my brother), because with my luck they'd all be like him! My sorta almost Sister (my parents took her in when she was 12 and I had just been born. She was what they called a Welfare Child) was great! She rook care of me til she got married. She was there for my Dad, when my Mom died. I couldn't get down as much as needed and my Sis (she'll always be my big Sister to me) helped my Dad so much (and helped me too) during that time. She and I had lost contact for several years and when my Mom died, it looked like Sis and I were going to be able to make up for lost time and about a year after my Mom died, My Sis died from heart problems.   My brother didn't care about her, she could see right through him.   To give you an idea about our relationship ( my Sis and me) I don't remember, but my Mom used to talk about Sis taking me to see the newly released (at the time) "Gone With The Wind" My Mom told her that it wasn't a good idea cause I'd never sit still that long and Sis took me anyway and I'm told that I sat right there and watched the entire movie. If only she were hear now.   I know that I have so much to be thankful for and now, if only I can get my Dad some peace of mind for his final years, ya know? 

[bill440cars]

Bill,

I just discovered this thread- please allow me to offer my prayers for you and your family.

Having lost my grandmother, a dear dear woman who was the backbone of our family and like a mother to me, I can honestly say that something positive comes from this hardship. It may not reveal it self for now but, when you are ready to see it, it will be there.

All my best.

           All Prayers are readily accepted and thank you for that.   As it stands right now, I'd just like to give my Dad some peace and make sure that my Dad's wishes are carried out. Between what I deal with daily and the goings on down there, I feel like I'm aging faster than I should. My Parents had been married almost 60yrs, when she died and that was a heck of a jolt to my Dad (and me). My brother commented about 20yes ago that Dad was going to divorce her. He was/is such an idiot!   Thank you for your input on this, I appreciate all input.    

[DarkRider]

Bill...i have said it many times...your brother is a grade A #$%*....It is truely sad that adopted siblings can be closer to you then your own flesh and blood. My younger sister and i are a lot closer then myself and Vince. Funny part is Rose isn't actually officially adopted by my family..how that came about is her and had gotten to be close friends and one day i made the remark that i was like an older brother to her and as a result we had basically wound up adopting each other as siblings. For awhile there it felt odd that i was actually the middle child as a result of this lol. But one day i hope to be able to introduce mom to rose so she can get to know her as well and understand the bond thats between her and i. (Rose lives in england so thats a lil easier said then done)

[Terry in Australia]

Geez I wish one of you guys would change your avatar pic, for a minute I thought Bill had multiple personalities!

[bill440cars]

Geez I wish one of you guys would change your avatar pic, for a minute I thought Bill had multiple personalities!

           Sorry bout that Terry, didn't mean to get you all confused there. Even though I sometimes feel like I've got multiple personalities.

[kghost]

Geez I wish one of you guys would change your avatar pic, for a minute I thought Bill had multiple personalities!

           Sorry bout that Terry, didn't mean to get you all confused there. Even though I sometimes feel like I've got multiple personalities.

His brother may have multiple personalities...not bill 

[bill440cars]

Geez I wish one of you guys would change your avatar pic, for a minute I thought Bill had multiple personalities!

           Sorry bout that Terry, didn't mean to get you all confused there. Even though I sometimes feel like I've got multiple personalities.

His brother may have multiple personalities...not bill 

          Thanks Tim. It's all I can do to handle ONE personality, much less multiple! I don't even do multiple usernames on the different forums boards. What you see, is what you get.  

[bill440cars]

       Well, I was able to go down to see my Dad again today. He seems to be doing well. He's still not happy with the way he's being treated by them, but he's not letting it get to him though. He is continuing to try to get things set the way he wants them. I just need to get him to accept the fact that I am more than willing to get him to a lawyer to finalize things and that it's not a problem.

        I loaded my lawn mower, weedeater, gas for both and even my rake so that I could do his yard work. He said he didn't want me to have to do that. Thing is, I was loaded and ready to do it. I was down there for a little over 5 hours and all we did was talk, go eat, talk and talk some more and then I left to come home. While I really wanted to do his yard work, seemed like he just wanted some company, someone he could freely and openly talk to. And I was that person. We sure brought up a lot of old memories and I think he realized even more that he and I had a whole lot more in common than he realized. All my brother wants to talk about is himself & fishing. Dad and I talked about his and my military experiences, along with our esperiences while in the Army Reserves and experiences with motorcycles. Seemed like he really enjoyed the talks we had, I know I did!

          As I was getting ready to leave, I DID let him know that the next time I loaded my stuff to cut his grass with, I WAS cutting his grass and he said, "Okay"


                                   Take care, Bill      

[kghost]

Good to hear Bill,

Glad ya had a positive time with ya pops

[bill440cars]

Good to hear Bill,

Glad ya had a positive time with ya pops

                   Thanks Tim!

[DarkRider]

Seems like instead of the "bad seed" that your brother tried to make you out to be to your father...you were the one who followed in your fathers footsteps while your brother turned out rotten to the core.

Glad to hear that you got to spend some more time with your father Bill..

[Ecosse]

       Well, I was able to go down to see my Dad again today. He seems to be doing well. He's still not happy with the way he's being treated by them, but he's not letting it get to him though. He is continuing to try to get things set the way he wants them. I just need to get him to accept the fact that I am more than willing to get him to a lawyer to finalize things and that it's not a problem.

        I loaded my lawn mower, weedeater, gas for both and even my rake so that I could do his yard work. He said he didn't want me to have to do that. Thing is, I was loaded and ready to do it. I was down there for a little over 5 hours and all we did was talk, go eat, talk and talk some more and then I left to come home. While I really wanted to do his yard work, seemed like he just wanted some company, someone he could freely and openly talk to. And I was that person. We sure brought up a lot of old memories and I think he realized even more that he and I had a whole lot more in common than he realized. All my brother wants to talk about is himself & fishing. Dad and I talked about his and my military experiences, along with our esperiences while in the Army Reserves and experiences with motorcycles. Seemed like he really enjoyed the talks we had, I know I did!

          As I was getting ready to leave, I DID let him know that the next time I loaded my stuff to cut his grass with, I WAS cutting his grass and he said, "Okay"


                                   Take care, Bill      

God bless you Bill. Life's tests can sharpen the mind to what's really important. Time spent with your dad is beyond value and I'm glad that you shared it here.

-Bill

[bill440cars]

Seems like instead of the "bad seed" that your brother tried to make you out to be to your father...you were the one who followed in your fathers footsteps while your brother turned out rotten to the core.

Glad to hear that you got to spend some more time with your father Bill..

          Yeah Chris, I get the idea that he's jealous that he wasn't there when my family was involved with the motorcycles. Thing is, he's never happy about anything, I promise you that if he's been born first, he'd be belly aching about how strict my parents would have been to him and how they'd just let me run wild. Most all First Born have to tow the line, as we all know. While I didn't appreciate the way they slacked up n him, I wouldn't trade me being the oldest for anything. I never was resentful like he has been and realized a little later in life, why they did us like that. My wife and I have only our Daughter because, when she was diagnosed as an Epileptic we decided that we shouldn't have any more kids because we figured there could be resentment from Karla getting special treatment from us as a result of her problem. We've, since then, seen families with several kids and one of them having a disability of sorts, having turmoil within the family and feel that we did the best thing by having only one child. She's 30 now (which makes me feel very old ) and she's a very special child (She'll Always be our child )

         
           BTW, Thanks for allowing me to talk about these things, It sure helps me and we've ALL learned that there are things that we pretty much all have experienced and I'm hoping that I'm not the only one who is benefiting from this thread. 

                                 Take care all,  Bill    

[GoatBaSS]

Put a great deal of stuff in perspective for me, just this morning! Thanks.

[troppo]

Talking is good for the soul mate, you can vent and whinge in here and NOT in the real world and still feel relieved.

[bill440cars]

Put a great deal of stuff in perspective for me, just this morning! Thanks.

          It has helped me in the process and if it has helped you, then it's really worthwhile (in my opinion) When I started this, i thought that if anyone else could benefit from it, that would be great!

                                 Take care, Bill  

[bill440cars]

                           
]

God bless you Bill. Life's tests can sharpen the mind to what's really important. Time spent with your dad is beyond value and I'm glad that you shared it here.

-Bill

             Thanks, I'm just trying to give him as much good times as I can, because I'm about the only one left who'll make the effort and it's sad to say that but true all the same. Since I've been able to break loose and spend some time (as I can), he's started talking about some really cool stuff (in my opinion). I've heard stories about some of his escapes in his youth, at my Granddad's motorcycle shop and in the military. I also heard about when my Dad first met my Mom.   All the time we talked, I was thinking that I REALLY wanted to do his yardwork for him. Maybe, sometime this Summer, I can figure out a way to spend a few days with him and get him out for some more real good times.

                                Take care, Bill

[bill440cars]

Talking is good for the soul mate, you can vent and whinge in here and NOT in the real world and still feel relieved.

         You are SO right about that. I Could vent to my brother, but it wouldn't do any good. It would only cause MORE problems and my Dad would suffer because of it. My best bet is to stay away from my brother as much as possible. This way, I can get some relief and possibly others may benefit also.    

[Sam Green Racing]

Glad you were able to talk with your dad Billy, he probably enjoyed it as much as you did.
My boys are 29 and 40, the eldest living over 200 miles away. They have both had the odd problems and don't hesitate to let me know when something is wrong.
They both know they can turn to me in times of trouble and even if I can't sort their problems for them, just the sharing of a problem makes them feel better.
Stick in there Billy and help him all you can.

Sam.

[bill440cars]

Glad you were able to talk with your dad Billy, he probably enjoyed it as much as you did.
My boys are 29 and 40, the eldest living over 200 miles away. They have both had the odd problems and don't hesitate to let me know when something is wrong.
They both know they can turn to me in times of trouble and even if I can't sort their problems for them, just the sharing of a problem makes them feel better.
Stick in there Billy and help him all you can.

Sam.

           I'm sure you are right Sam! And, after the initial questions of "how are you doing and How are they treating you", my brother's name was not mentioned again. We just talked of experiences and such for a good part of the 5 hours I was there (except for enough time to order and eat lunch a his favorite place). Of course I paid for the meal, with him wanting to know why and me telling him that He and my Mom did it for years and now, it was my turn to treat him. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. If he insists, I let him pay. Either way, he leaves the tip. He always has some $2 bills and delights in leaving a $2 bill for the tip. That's MY Dad!

              That's cool that you and your sons have that connection Sam.

                               Take care, Bill    

[bill440cars]

         Well, I talked to my Dad today (his Doctor had restricted him from driving last June) and he reinstated his driving privileges, which upset my brother enough that he acted as though he was going to hit the Doctor. As I said, my brother's not too smart. Dad said that they were face to face and the Doctor did not back down. He is about ready to get things finalized concerning the will and the whole nine yards. I'm going down on the 29th and see him and start the (hopefully) final step of getting things all legalized so my brother will get only what is actually due him.      
         

[BobbyR]

         Well, I talked to my Dad today (his Doctor had restricted him from driving last June) and he reinstated his driving privileges, which upset my brother enough that he acted as though he was going to hit the Doctor. As I said, my brother's not too smart. Dad said that they were face to face and the Doctor did not back down. He is about ready to get things finalized concerning the will and the whole nine yards. I'm going down on the 29th and see him and start the (hopefully) final step of getting things all legalized so my brother will get only what is actually due him.      
         

No Bill your brother is very smart. By keeping Dad from driving he keeps Dad dependant which is what a manipulator wants.

[seaweb11]

On my last visit to my Dads, he took me down to his office and showed me where he keeps all his numerous folders of investments and life insurances etc.
He told me I'm the executor. Kind of a grim discussion for me. It's hard to think of loosing him

It was nice to see he has left the majority of his estate towards a new wing at Vancouver General Hospital. He and his late partner started a fund before James died , now over 3.5 million, and the new wing will be there for the next 100 years helping others with blood diseases. I sure as sh*t don't need or want his money.  I'll just miss him huge

I really don't know who I will call with stupid electrical questions when he passes I think some times I call him with dumb questions just to talk to him.

Call your dads and tell them you love them

[bill440cars]

         
No Bill your brother is very smart. By keeping Dad from driving he keeps Dad dependant which is what a manipulator wants.

           Bobby, he might be a "little smart" by keeping Dad from driving but, if he was "Very Smart", he'd have tried to keep Dad feeling like he was looking out for his best interest. Which he hasn't or isn't. Little brother doesn't know that Dad's account and cd's are coowned by me. I'm hoping that my Dad has the time to get some more enjoyment out of life, before his time comes. Soon as things are finalized, everything will be as Dad wants them and he knows that whatever he wants my brother to have, will be given to him. I can't say the same thing, if it were up to my brother though.