What am I doing today? Hatching plans to turn tricks in bathrooms or otherwise find money to pay for the $170 in fines I incurred by parking my bike on Chicago streets for an hour or so yesterday. $50 just for not paying parking to the aptly named LAZ Parking Inc. and $120 because I neglected to pay the city $45 for a city sticker I would neither use nor need.
Its a bit of a tossup as far as who deserves my money less, the city or LAZ Parking Inc.. On the one hand, the city sold off the parking meters for a song to the politically connected LAZ Parking Inc., thereby depriving the city of much needed revenue over the next 90 years. So that kind of makes LAZ Parking a bunch of motherfvckers. But on the other hand, the city itself is a total motherfvcker for having done so in the first place. This city is run by gypsies, tramps and thieves.
I feel somewhat better now, thanks. Back to financial planning.